(Consumer tip:  Write your story elsewhere, and then paste it here, else you may do what I just did, which is type it here, hit the wrong button, and then delete it.  Take Two:)

One of the best experiences of my life is my multi-decade friendship with Dan’s brother Gerry, through which happy association I got to know brother Jay (finally!) and Dan, over 25 years ago.

It was all those years ago, at the annual Speca/Haley Thanksgiving Soiree, that I got to meet Dan and Mary, and their two (at the time) lovely daughters, Monica and the recently-arrived Maria, for the first time.

At that point in our lives, Donna and I were considering the possibility of becoming adoptive parents ourselves, and I was struck by the thorough delight evinced by Dan and Mary with their new addition.

I’d known Dan about an hour, but I felt as though I’d always known him, so I was thoroughly comfortable talking to him about the experience of becoming an adoptive parent, the process, the aftermath, etc., and finally I asked him, “What ultimately made you decide that it was the right choice for you and your wife?”

He put his hand on my shoulder and said, “I have faith:  God doesn’t make mistakes, he wants what’s best for me, and he wants what’s best for you, so don’t worry…  Whatever you decide will be the right decision for you.”

A year or so later, Donna and I began the first of two (although we had no inkling at the time that we would be doing it more than once) adoption journeys, and thereby started the process of giving ourselves the two greatest gifts which we have ever received.

Our daughter and son (we brought them home in that order, a year apart) are both in college now, and have spent almost every Thanksgiving of their lives at the Speca/Haley Soiree, which means that they, too, have had the great good fortune of getting to know Dan, Mary and their THREE kids (who are now, of course, all grown up).

There is no greater gamble to be taken in human experience than the decision to become a parent (or not) by whatever means…

From the first time I saw Dan after our first child came home to us, and every time since, I made it a point to let him know that he and Mary, by their joyous example, were as much responsible for my coming around to Donna’s wish to take that gamble as any other reason I can remember.

Dan Speca was one of the most thoroughly decent human beings I have ever known, I will miss him, and I will be forever in his debt.

R.I.P.